I’m a selfish Mom

You know that saying “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!”? It must have been coined by a very selfish mother. Here’s the kicker: I could have written it.

I think back to my Mom and how unselfish she was. She always took the burnt piece of food. Her servings were always smaller than the rest of ours and she’d go without seconds if we wanted thirds. She drove a beat-up old camper as her primary mode of transport while our other car was a brand new Acura. She shopped Goodwill while my sister and I got new school clothes (we had Goodwill clothes too, but Back To School clothes were always new). She laid down her life for her family, and continues to do so. God bless her (and I mean that literally), she will drop almost anything to come to the aid of her family, in spite of how it may make her feel.

Being a selfish Mom is not something I’m proud of. I find my biggest issues during the day are when I’m not getting what I want! Maybe it’s because I’m the baby of my Family of Origin. Maybe it’s just how I’m wired. Maybe I thought I could get what I wanted because my Mom was always so generous with what she should have said “I need that”. Ask anyone who knew me as a child, my middle name was “Tantrum”.

Just a few of my selfish behaviors include:

  • Wanting to use the bathroom or take a shower without little ones around.
  • Taking the first helping of seconds because I know I have the biggest appetite in my family.
  • Wanting my house to stay neat, even with a 20-month old and a 4.5-year old living here.
  • Wanting my dogs to be seen and not heard.
  • Showing my kids back to their bedrooms if they come out during my morning Quiet Time (6-7am).
I will also say that I am capable of unselfish behavior too:
  • I always serve my family their meals first.
  • I make my children’s education a priority and plan my life around what is best for them.
  • I get up with the kids many mornings so my Hubby can “sleep in”.
  • I cook (for the most part) what my family likes, though I have much broader tastes.
I’m not sure if I am doing right by my children by not bending to their every demand. All I know is that my Mom was unselfish, sometimes to an extreme extent, and this is how I turned out. I do know that kid’s do as they see, and right now, I model selfishness. If you raise your voice loud enough, you’ll be heard and if your face gets red enough, people will give you what you want.
I’m not delusional in thinking that I can change my ways after 30+ years, but I also think that, in this case, knowledge is power.
I’m not perfect. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. I’ll just aim for Better Than Before.

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