Martha Stewart is the New Jesus

Ok, before you hang me out to dry for comparing Jesus Christ to Martha Stewart, hear me out!

It comes from this basic notion: They can do no wrong.

Jesus was capable of miracles. He could walk on water. He could make the blind see, the mute speak, the deaf hear. He could heal leprosy, make the lame walk, the dead rise, and a myriad of other abnormalities vanish with just pure belief in him. He loved his neighbor, consorted with sinners, and died for our sins. The man could do no wrong.

Martha can grow an heirloom tomato in sand (not really). Martha can whip up a party fit for a king on 30-minute notice (with the help of a full staff). Martha can maintain a company, host a TV show, publish a magazine, and come up with new recipes all from a prison cell (you should see what that woman can do with hooch!). The woman can do no wrong.

Ok, obviously, Martha is nothing like Jesus. Her full staff is nothing like the 12 disciples, her magazine can’t hold a candle to The New Testament, and her  TV show is public access compared to The Sermon on the Mount.

Could you imagine having Martha Stewart as a mother? The woman, who makes it all look so effortless, asking you to fold your clothes. I can just imagine how that would go…

“No no, darling (because I can just imagine her using that term of endearment), *this* is how you properly fold a t-shirt that has a pocket on the breast. Yes, darling, it is different from folding a t-shirt that does not have a pocket on the breast, but you should see how to properly fold a t-shirt with a pocket on the breast *and* a collar! That’ll really make your head spin!”

I may appear to be *that* mom to some folks, but believe me, I’m not.

Today, I had a rough day. Blame hormones, blame no Mommy quiet time in the morning for most of the past week, blame the weather (though today was beautiful!)… whatever makes you sleep at night. But I make LOTS of mistakes. I cancel playdates for my kids because their attitudes are in the tank, when it’s more my attitude than theirs. I yell at my kids to do X, Y, or and Z even when they are doing the best they can. I lose my cool and give them The Show (you know The Show… the one where Mommy’s head spins around like she’s possessed?) because of one reason or another.

And I’m wrong for it.

Here’s the difference. I have no little problem putting my Mommy Pride aside and admitting it. To my kids. Yeah, you can tell yourself after after you’ve given The Show that you were wrong, that you’ll never do it again, that you’ll try harder. But what about your kids?

I don’t want to be SuperMom to my kids. I want them to remember me as with-fault, but also constantly trying to improve myself. I want them to learn how to accept responsibility for their actions, humble themselves, and learn from their mistakes. I want them to teach that to their friends and to my future-grandkids, should I be blessed with them.

I wanted Martha Stewart to say “I knew I was insider trading” and then take her due punishment instead of pleading “Not Guilty” and dragging America through a trial, determined to keep her “can-do-no-wrong” title, only to be found guilty.

Be guilty. Hold yourself accountable. Teach that to your kids.


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