I’m officially in “the home stretch” (in so many ways, but that’s not what this is about…)
My past two labors were natural labors. With Big, I went into it thinking my body was made to birth a child. I kept saying I was just going in to it with one expectation: Healthy Baby and Healthy Mommy. If that meant medical intervention, so be it. While I had no pain meds, I did opt for pitocin to kick-start labor. I was a first time mommy and I was anxious to meet my baby, to say the least! And I was naive. I had NO idea what I was in for. I asked for drugs three times. Twice in the throws of a contraction (to which my nurse told me she wouldn’t give me drugs if I asked while having a contraction) and once more immediately after the contraction that she had said that to me ended. But it was too late. On came another… and another… and another. And then BABY.
I had Middle three years later. After laboring at home for 30 hours, I had an acupuncturist come to the house to “stick me”. 5 needles and 10 minutes later, I was RUNNING out the door to the hospital. I was in check-in for what felt like an hour (what’s the point of the pre-admin forms you are supposed to fill out, I ask??), in triage for an hour, and in my room for a whopping 30 minutes before I was holding Middle in my arms. I remember very little of that labor process except for asking the Hubby, whilst still in triage, “Why am I doing this naturally again??”, to which he answered “because you can”. If you ask me how Middle’s labor was, I’d answer frantic. I felt out of control. I felt rushed. I felt scared. I felt panicked. I rarely think of the frustrating 30-hour pre-hosptial laboring.
And now I’m approaching my third, and final, labor process. I’m scared in a hopeful way. This go around, I’m a devoted Christian, and I know God will take care of my fears. He will comfort me. He will be my Healer, my Coach, my Protector, my Guide. He made this body of mine to birth a child, not to be carried away in the pain of it (thanks, Eve). In my Bible study, we are talking about expecting God to act. If you ask, expect results. It shows the greatest amount of faith. Having gone through the immense pain of childbirth twice before, I pray that God gives me patience, strength, perseverance, and understanding of my body, which He wonderfully made. I pray that I can feel Him in the room, though I’ll only have the medical staff and the Hubby in physical presence. I pray that I can honor Him when my basic nature, the one that He put in me, takes over my mind to welcome my child.