We had such a wonderful weekend, celebrating my mom’s 66th birthday, starting our 4th Financial Peace Class (that has 3xs the number of people of our largest class to date!), and hanging out with friends to watch the Super Bowl (I was rooting for the Pats, since Tom Brady is cuter than Eli Manning. Had it been Peyton Manning, I may have gone that direction, cuz he’s one funny dude.)
I woke up early yesterday morning and didn’t really know what to do with myself. I thought of the million and a half things I *could* do, but nothing felt like it had any meaning, nor would it give me the right start I wanted for the day. So, I sat at my computer and just started watching videos I’ve taken with my phone.
I used to treat Big SO differently. I know that her age (5) has always been a difficult one for me to deal with. The sassing. The independent thoughts. The wanting to do everything for themselves even though it takes 10xs longer. It’s just rough for me. Now, Middle? I could listen to her 2.5 year old rambles for hours, more or less.
But I’m harsh with Big. I expect a lot of her, not just because she’s older, but because I know she is capable of doing the things I ask of her. I don’t think about the fact that things are taking her 10xs as long to do, so she has this seemingly never-ending string of “mommy needs…” that she is being asked to tend to.
Watching those videos, I am struck by how patient and understanding I was of her trying so hard to do things. And 5 is NOT a grown-up. I really need to stop acting like it is.
I’m starting to lead a small book study with a group of girlfriends today on the book Spiritual Parenting by Michelle Anthony. One of the things it says is that it’s not our job to manage our children’s behavior, but rather to put them into the path of the Divine with “teachable moments”.
Well, no wonder managing their behavior is so exhausting! It’s not my main purpose in parenting! And I now recognize that I was embracing Big’s teachable moments so much more when she was younger (and I didn’t have two other kids needing near constant attention).
The first step to change is acknowledging a problem.