This morning, I woke up feeling restless. I knew my two Bigs go less sleep than usual because of Trick-or-Treating, and I woke up with anticipation of a pretty difficult Mom-Day.
Then I stepped in a puddle of bodily fluids from my aging dog.
And we had no more coffee.
And I had forgotten to take bread out of the freezer to make Bigs lunch with, so she’ll have to buy icky hot lunch (which she loves, but I do not).
and it is raining so my motivation to go for a run isn’t there.
I really don’t like starting days like that. They seem to infect my actions, my words, my thoughts, but because I run a very tight ship, it’s imperative that I just get to work. I make the breakfast my kids have requested even before dinner the night before. I assemble myself enough to be semi-presentable in public. I make lunches, empty the dishwasher, clean up dog messes, keep kids focused during breakfast, getting dressed, brushing their hair and teeth, and going to the bathroom before we are halfway through our walk to drop Big off and it dawns on them that going to the bathroom before bed the night before doesn’t count as having gone already.
I had already put the oatmeal on the stove, but hadn’t gotten around to ANY of the other stuff, when I thought “Read Your Bible”. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten a niggling to read my Bible, but I’m so very sad to say I often don’t listen. I get my priorities all kinds of screwed up, putting MY desires and perceived needs in front of what God is obviously trying to tell me will help me the most.
So, I stopped doing my busywork, and grabbed my Bible. Before I even opened it, I thought “God will tell you what you need to hear at this very moment. Just go with it.” But I still found myself rolling my eyes at the fact that I opened to Psalms. That David was a wordy dude, and I often have a hard time following what he has to say.
But nevertheless, my eyes first fell on Psalm 40:10.
(10) I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.
Nice, right? It’s all fluffy, and flowery, and all the things I really want to exude today. But at the time, I needed something raw, so I kept reading.
Psalm 40:11-12 reads:
(11) Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord;
may your love and your truth always protect me.
(12) For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs on my head,
and my heart fails within me.
If you could see me now, I’m shaking my head, even reading the passage again… That God… MY God… He totally gets it. And sometimes, you just need someone that Gets It.