Sucking at Life

I have a confession to make.

I care what y’all think.

(and now I’m not so secretly wondering what all y’all think of this born and raised California girl using the phrases “y’all” and “all y’all”.)

Anyhoo… I care. I care so much that when I think I’m sucking at life, I stop writing.

But here’s the thing… I suck at life often. I just don’t get it “right”. I yell at my kids and dogs. I question my sanity. I screw up my priorities. I make a lousy meal. I do something stupid (like picking up random furniture on the side of the road) and end up hurting myself to the point of incapacity. I dream of the future when the constant complaining/whining/begging/fighting/etc. is a thing of the past (“it’s a phase, right?” spills from my lips frequently).

But you know what? I sort of think you might suck at life, too. And really, isn’t that what connections are made of? All of our little (or big) screw ups reminding us that we are human; reminding us we are not alone, even though when we are sucking at life, we feel like we’re falling into the abyss of loneliness.

So I realized, If I waited until I stopped sucking at life, the things I’d write about would not actually be ALL of me. If there is one thing I aim to do, it’s to be REAL.

…not this perfect mom, who cooks a balanced meal every day (I don’t), but a REAL mom, who loses her mind and her manners on a regular basis.

Welp, I’m here to tell you, I suck at life. I’m just trying to not feel so alone while I do it and pray that I can suck less often.

Who’s with me?



Dealing With Early Risers

For the past few weeks, I’ve been getting up at 5am.

No, I’m not crazy.

(well, I might be a little bit crazy, but it has little to do with my wake up time).

In the 90-minutes I have before the kids alarm goes off, I read my devotionals, prep breakfast, make lunches, watch the sun come up, and enjoy a cup (or two) of HOT coffee. 90 minutes is long enough that towards the end, I find myself wondering what to do, because the things I’d normally do (empty the dishwasher, vacuum, etc.) would make a bunch of noise.


I love feeling like I have NOTHING to do.

Until my kids realized I was getting up early.

And I let them come snuggle if it was after 6am.

Yes, I love the extra snuggle time. Yes, I love not having to rush around or bark orders at them to get ready for school on time. Yes, I love having a moment to breathe to be able to actually braid their hair.

But what I don’t like is the fact that they are disasters (for the most part) when they would normally be more even keeled. Middle even said to me yesterday “Mommy! I saw the sun come up!!”. Ummmm… you’re 3. That’s not a good thing. At least, not for Mommy!

The Bigs share a room, so when one kid gets up, she wakes the other up. Big actually came out of her room at 6:03 this morning fully dressed! It robs her sister of the sleep her body needs, which is most evident around 1:30pm, which blows, because she doesn’t get a nap until 2:30pm!

And did I forget to mention that we are going to be working on transitioning Little into the same room this summer? I’m reevaluating my statement regarding my sanity.

How would you deal with a situation like this? I don’t want them to think I don’t love spending time with them and those warm sleepy snuggles, but something’s gotta give.

What say you? Comment below!